Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
