My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
