I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
