So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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