apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
wow bdsm is so cute
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
