I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
