she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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