I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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