So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
