Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
