It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
