So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
