im about as happy as oj after his trial
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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