she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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