yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
