Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
