there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
