jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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