i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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