just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize