Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
