He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I AM VODKA MAN
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
