at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize