talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
