Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
