K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize