I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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