This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Floor bacon is actually really good
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
