Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
