Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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