Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
