Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
