whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i think my cat just said my name.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
