I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
a search helicopter?!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
