Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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