marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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