his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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