No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
