hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
