Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
