she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
love makes seman taste better
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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