Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Do vagina's smell?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Drake has all the answers
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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