so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
