I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
