why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Found the puke drawer
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
