No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize