the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
