I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
