She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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