wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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