Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
