I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
