I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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