sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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