It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
