does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
