If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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