I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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