Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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