and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
