i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
