Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize